My Dear Daughter 4

My dear daughter,

For a very long time, I was told that I wasn’t enough. There were voices constantly trying to pull me down. Reflecting on this stage in life, I ask myself. “Why do they say that?” “What are they trying to achieve?” I look at them with pity and console myself, “Perhaps they are projecting how they feel inside.”

When you grow up, when you have the luxury of looking back from a distance, I hope that you realise that you are not the problem. That they have their own demons to fight. You just happen to be in the way.

My dear daughter,

Know this – you are the most beautiful, smart and talented human being I know. I am proud of that. You came from mommy. You have my reflection.. Some people are scared of that image because they think they can never live up to that. You are loved and surrounded by love. You shine. You glow. And in that reflection, some people are afraid.

I have said this, and I will say it again – you are not the problem.

Trust me. It took me such a long time to stop blaming myself for what befalls others. I have gathered the strength to walk away and choose peace. It took a lot of courage and learning to love myself first. How can you put on the oxygen mask on another person if you haven’t got one yourself? From the pages of an airplane safety leaflet – always put yourself first.

I lived a life where it was the social norms to put others ahead of myself. Especially being the eldest, and especially being the only girl. Where did that get me? A life of regrets and ruminating about all the what if’s. Worst of all, doubting the decisions I made in life.

I have learnt that boundaries are not only necessary, but healthy. Once, someone demeaned my existence. I gave that person a death stare and simply walked away. It showed her words did not have the power to hurt me. I hope you develop that strength without bitterness, but with courage.

My dear daughter,

I’m sharing with you the dark bits of my life so that wisdom will shine on you without you having the burden of learning it the hard way. It’s difficult to fathom now. But someday you will. And when that day comes, you’ll think back of the past with a smile.

You are my favourite person in the world. You are a blessing and not a regret. In my eyes, you are almost perfect and you bring indescribable joy to me and all those around you.

I love you, my daughter.

Mommy