Story: Chapter 2

I woke up that morning, for the first time in ages, beside a man; in this case, it was Jamie. I had almost forgotten the smell of another human being’s morning breath beside me as I opened my eyes. He sensed that I was awake and kissed me, and as our tongues wrapped around each other’s, I melted again into his arms and got lost in the heated moment of our embrace. After our intimate dance was over, I got out of bed, freshened up and gave Jamie a quick peck on his forehead and he left.

Seated with a warm cup of coffee, I felt refreshed after a night of intense physical action. Yet, I was also caught between what could be described as a moral battle between two warring struggles which seemed impossible for me to reconcile. I had to admit that the feeling of satisfaction was overwhelming; there was no guilt that could dampen my spirits, what I predominantly felt that morning was the pleasurable ardour left from a night of heated passion. I sipped my coffee and recalled the amorous events of the night, almost forgetting the other woman that was bound to Jamie legally. What mattered to me was how I felt, and whatever repugnance others may feel about my succumbing to my carnal desires, just did not matter to me.

The past should be left where it belonged – in the past. My girlfriend sent me a picture of my ex and his new wife, who were expecting a child. With pictures of the fetal ultrasound and a refurbished nursery in our former marital home, it suddenly felt as though I was robbed of what could have been mine. For a moment I felt my heart ache, but I only allowed myself to indulge in a moment of self- pity. It was as if a rope I had been hanging on to was slipping away, and perhaps it was that night of forbidden and uncontrollable emotions that assuaged my feelings of bitterness.

“Hey babe. How are you feeling?” Jamie sent me a text via Whatsapp.
“I’ve been thinking about last night,” I replied.
“Dinner?”
“Pick me up at 6.00 pm.”

There was a slight smirk on my face when I received his message. I was excited to see him again as we entered a new territory together. Did I ever stop to think of his wife? Perhaps a little. He probably lied to me about his marriage having gone sour, or perhaps that was the truth. I once was in her position as the cheated wife and if I could have my vengeance, I would have shred my husband into a thousand pieces.

What if she found out? The scene was acted out in my mind. There would be wailing, screaming, things flying around, tears and heart break. How could I subject another woman to go through what I went through? What have I become to betray my own kind? The thought did pass me by for a moment, and there was that sharp stab at my heart. But then how about me? What about MY needs?

As if they were clouds hovering in my mind, I shrugged and blew away the thoughts to the winds that passed by. I tried not to think about it any longer. All I knew was, I wanted what I wanted. And whatever may be the circumstances, I will get what I wanted.