My Dear Daughter I

My dear daughter,

There are many things I want to tell you and don’t want to tell you. You are a miracle. A chance for me to redeem what I did not have. To love and be loved for who we are.

We try to shield you from the harshness of the world by building a wall that hid the bitter truth of life. But one day, like Buddha who lived in a guarded palace, you will clamber up the wall and escape from this made-up world we built for you to rule. You will come to know what suffering is, and I hope that I am there to comfort you when you feel pain or lost.

My dear daughter,

I am sorry you witnessed me walk out of the marriage that birthed you, for my happiness. But there’s a deeper message that I want to tell you; it’s okay to be happy. I set off to achieve my dreams. It was frightening but I soldiered on.

My dear girl,

Don’t be a victim in life. People hurt you not because of you. Hurt people hurt. Don’t resent them, but resign to The Most Merciful and let God deal with them justly. You will get your share and more, if you forgive.

The wisdom I earned from life is to be authentic. That night I stood outside your room in grandma’s home hearing you giggle and laugh, talking to your friends about your day. I felt so happy that I thought I must had done something right by you. I watch you grow from a girl whose persistence made her able to read at 4, who created a YouTube video that gained thousands of likes, to a beautiful teenager so eager to step into the world. I am so proud of you.

My dear daughter,

I hope you will forgive me. Like myself, one day you will know, your family are the ones who will help you pick up the pieces when your life is shattered by storm. I live life true to my convictions as much as I can, but like everything, there is a price. Love your parents, no matter how imperfect they may be, for once upon a time, they tried to hide the hideousness of the world from you. Humour them if you can, show them that some of their dreams of you came true, even if you must wear a mask. “All the world’s a stage,” says Shakespeare (I recommend reading him one day), “and all the men and women are merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts.”

Lastly, you must have a life of your own; where you make peace with yourself and seek God’s Countenance. Live your life, my daughter. Be confident, InsyaAllah, your dreams will come true. I am your mother now and always.